Jackass

So, there I was at lunch, sitting in my truck under the shade of some pines, minding my own business and reading a book. Some moron on a bike rode by, and yelled at me, "Bike your fat ass off." I was sore tempted to start the truck, run him off the road, stop, open the lid of the bed, grab the bike pump off the the bike under the lid, and beat him about the head with it.

Pillock.